She's Leaving Home.

Tomorrow, I will pack up and leave town.

Again.

But. This journey will be different from any other in the past.
-With my own set of keys, I will lock the door of my own place behind me
-My calling, missions, and my love, music, will for the first time be purposefully combined
 -I will leave behind a dear one who now holds part of my heart

Preparing to leave the country while moving out of your parents' home is quite a drastic undertaking. Those lacking a strong constitution should avoid such a thing at all costs. Last Sunday, I moved into Detroit with the hopes of living purposefully in the city I called home for the majority of my childhood and teen years.

And tomorrow I will leave it.


I learned once that music is the only message that can reach people without their permission. It meets their spirits. Europe is a place that was once on fire for God but is now "enlightened" past fervor into a frozen wasteland of humanism. During the Olympics this summer, the world will flood their doorstep. I read this during my time with Jesus this morning, and it will be my goal:  


"I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth — 
7 everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. ”
8 Lead out those who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf." Isaiah 43: 6-8


Doing something you love for Jesus is at once the chance and the challenge of a lifetime. I feel pressure to push for perfect performances, but I know that God wants to use the Spirit inside of me, even more than the music I produce. I played a small show last night with an acoustic set of my band, the Normandies. I was reminded how much I love making music and how blessed I am to be a part of it.

And it goes without saying, that this will be the hardest thing to leave behind:

You may be asking yourself, where is the independent, wandering, loner I once knew? She is still alive and well, but she is ever changing.

London bound tomorrow evening at 6:45pm. Rucksack on my back, guitar at my side, and heart in my throat.

Contains Nuts.

written April 5th in transit to South Africa.


I have been traveling for 2 days.
London to Dubai.
Dubai to Capetown.
Overnight in Capetown and hosted by the most generous peoplewho filled us with delicious South African food.
boo-boo-ee-tee
curry
steamed pumpkin
Capetown flight cancelled.
Capetown to Port Elizabeth.
Port Elizabeth to Durban.

I have been flying above South Africa all afternoon.
Much of the flight from Capetown was spent along the coast.
I found the water so beautiful it felt as though I was looking down upon a second sky. Only it didnt make me dizzy at all.
On the last leg of the journey to Durban, I received a package of typical airline cashew nuts. My second of the day.
Its empty package sits before me now.
As I ripped it open, however, my eyes happened to catch a few notices on the back amongst fine printed nutritional facts.
A capital V for "Vegan" and "!" for "Contains Nuts."

I stared for a couple of seconds at the hilarity of such a statement.
Not only was te package clearly labeled "cashews," there was a transparent section in the packaging that allowed one to clearly view the contents.
I´ve heard that nut allergies can be quite severe, but why the need for a warning SO obvious?
Wasnt the label enough?
The window?

Suddenly, uneffectedly, and honestly, my mind went to my first impressions of South Africa. The natives in the airport returning home were mostly white South Africans. Tanned and beautiful laden with expensive looking luggage. Expensive clothes. Expensive everything.
The airport was clean and spacious. The cars that came to fetch us were new.
The colored family we stayed with lived in a nice neighborhood. They had internet and a television.
Their 10 year old daughter Erin was watching Hannah Montana when we arrived. It made me feel strange.
I unconsciously looked for signes of poverty. Lingering evidence of a pre-Mandela nation.
A few shantytowns met my eyes. A few black south Africans on foot to and from work.
But mostly, a highly developed city. Despite the damages of apartheid, one of the wealthiest cities in Africa, perhaps even the world.
Almost immediately I chided myself. Do I want evidence of poverty?
Something to snap a photo of to incite clicking tongues and pity from back home? Perhaps a sign would have been better. A label reading:
"DONT WORRY. THERE IS POVERTY HERE!"

Wasnt the history enough?
The news?
The movies?

The guilt is a bit much at the moment, so, in a bit I will think about something else.
I am landing in Durban now. The pilot is circling us around and I can see the coastine again to my left. Green countryside lies to my right.

When an American travels halfway around the world to Africa, they dont want to see freeways, shopping malls, and cabel television.
We...I.... am harshly reminded that Iam not simply judging a place with these preconceived notions. I am inadvertently judging humanity. Yes. PEOPLE.

Get over yourself Kaylan. Get over yourself America.




A short 10 days since then, my opinions have already changed and expanded.
Work on Hope Farm is long, hard, and good. An update on current happenings will come hopefully next week. Just know that my muscles are sore!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjNms_H1sJM&feature=relateda
I have listened to this song for YEARS. I believe I was 14 when I first heard it. 22 sounded so old. It still does even though it will be upon me in less than 4 days.
21 is somehow 21. 22 is....an unavoidable twenty-SOMEthing.

Wish I had what I need
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could now
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough


.....twenty something or twenty someONE, there´s still plenty of world left to save.
Dont worry. I´m ON it.

Busking and Faith Adventures

In an attempt to raise money to live on here in England, I attained a busking license for the city of Luton. Luton is a short train ride away and is a quite urban city. Very diverse, which is a pleasant change from Harpenden which reminds me a lot of Royal Oak in many ways. Full of yuppies, bless them.

I was very nervous the first time. A new city is like a stranger. You don't know how its going to respond to you.
I now go to my "pitch" a couple of times a week and play sweet songs in the spring air.
It was quite cold at first, and, after two hours of playing I thought my fingers would freeze. Now, the sun shines longer and harder. People smile more. Spring does that, doesn't it?
I play across the way from a florist who, from the very first time, leaves me flowers everyday.
They brighten up our lounge like none other.

God provided for all of my lecture fees, most of my flight costs, and even laid it on my leaders' hearts to pay for my travel insurance!

I leave in exaclty ONE WEEK (!) and still have about 1400 pounds left to raise, so please pray with me that God will continue to provide. He is taking me on quite the faith adventure.
There are a few other fellow students who have money left to raise, so please lift them up in prayer as well.

I've been learning so much, I dont know how Im going to remember it all. Someone once said a DTS is 5 years of church sermons packed into a 3 month lecture phase. I am inclined to believe it.

Ive loved learning about the Holy Spirit, the Character and Nature of God, and especially the Father Heart of God. I have been learning slowly that I am inclined to superimpose my earthly father's mistakes on my heavenly Father, even though He doesnt deserve it! I subconsciously assume that He must be just like the only father I've ever known, but He's so much more perfect!

Please pray for:

My health.
A hiking backpack/rucksack for my travels (7 weeks in South Africa, 2.5 in Newcastle)
The rest of my financial needs for outreach
My skills at long distance communicating. I have found they are quite lacking!

I will end with some of my favorite lingo that I have recently picked up from around the world

Australia
-- Keen - "I am quite keen for some ice cream"
--Beat THAT off - (forget that)

Faroe Islands
--Mamasta! - Mama Mia!

England
--Bless her/him: "She's quite a poor communicator, bless her."
--Well good: "Just had some chips, they were WELL good!" "Just saw a film it was WELL good!" "Did you see that guy? He was WELL fit!"
--Leg - pronounced "ledge": "Omw. He is SUCH a leg."

Love!

Jireh

As evidenced by the length of time since Ive written, Ive been keeping quite BUSY!
Rather than boring you with the details of my life here in England, I will tell you some of the stories of how God is currently rocking my world.
My outreach team and I are going to South Africa!!! [more details to come]




When I came here, I really thought that I would be learning a lot about God's Word and character. I have.
However, so much of what I have learned is centered on who I am in Christ. When I came here, I was spiritually DRY. Like a desert with a small water oasis in the very center where I could go for a drink every now and then. I tentatively asked God to break me. I told Him that I'd rather feel sick and broken by Him then to continue to feel nothing at all.


The third week, each member of my team was prayed over by a team who is devoted to spiritual freedom (the Freedom Team). They laid hands on each of us and asked God to speak about our individual Original Design [aka] the truth that God says about us.
I went in predicting all the issues they would pray for. Instead, God led them deeper into my heart and false beliefs I had about myself. God broke me. And there were tears. and snot. Haha! I was a mess, but God really proved Himself to me by speaking to me through people I didn't even know!



Would you like to hear what God says about me? It makes me so excited, so here it is:

I am:

[Person 1]
A town cryer, one who raises my voice and gathers the people to follow Christ
I announce, and I proclaim, I am loud enough to be heard
A woman of great strength [word] Isaiah 61: 1-3b!
I am an Oak of Righteousness!
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has(B) anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;[a]
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and(C) the opening of the prison to those who are bound;[b]
2(D) to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor,
(E) and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
3to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
(F) to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
(G) the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
(H) that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD,(I) that he may be glorified.
[picture] A rushing river, strong and flowing, so much water it can move earth, even MOUNTAINS!


[Person 2]
A waving flag!
"When I get older, I will be stronger, they'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag."
Have a noble heart
A woman of persistence through trial and difficulty
Learn through trial and error
Have strength and boldness
Steady on a mountain
A bold warrior
(hard to believe)---> possess sweetness because I (will) hold onto God's Word like honey, the sweetness of the Word will flow from me
A Woman of the Word



[Person 3]
A woman of influence and great authority, have a presence that draws people and friends towards me
Created as a giver of life and energy in relationships
[picture] A sunrise, a symbol of life and energy
Social and relational
A leader with the wisdom of Esther



[Person 4]
A woman of faith [picture] volcano, my faith is deeper than what can be see
A learned scholar [picture] book shelves, with lots of books, the BIBLE remains MY book of life
[picture] library of books again [words] medicine and science
BUT I am persuing the unlearnable out of compassion
*I am in tears at this point*
[picture] a scale with wisdom on one side and compassion on the other where
wisdom=learned and compassion=unlearned
If you'd like to hear more about where this prayer session led, skype me sometime because we ended up in prayer for an hour and a half!


Something current you should all know are my financial needs.
As most of you know, I came here on faith that God would provide. He provided JUST enough for a one way plane ticket and $220 for an 8 month UK visa.
Lecture fees: 1600 pounds/$2500
Outreach fees: 1200 pounds/ $1900
Flights to SOUTH AFRICA (!!!): approx. 600 pounds/$960

I have pretty much been allowed to stay here for free in faith that God will provide.

If I have the lecture fees and plane tickets paid for, I will be able to go on outreach. Lecture fees need to be paid by week 8 (The week of March 7th) for me to stay here and complete my DTS. God has, so far, provided through various beautiful people slowly but surely. I currently need 778 more pounds ($1244) to complete my lecture fee payments, which means I'm halfway there!
We will be purchasing our plane tickets to South Africa soon. I will need approximately 600 pounds/$960 for the the tickets.

TOTAL NEED= $4000.
Pray with me! God will provide!



I took way longer to explain that awesome experience than I was expecting.
I will update again soon with details concerning my outreach and what else I've been learning!

I live in an Oval

-photo credit: Kellie Covert, fellow DTSer! -


The Highfield Oval to be precise.
Today was my second full day in Harpenden.
Jet-lagged. See below!

Countries represented: Argentina, Ecuador, Denmark, the Faroa Islands, England, Australia, Canada, the U.S., Columbia, Egypt, and Germany.

Work Duties: Dinner Cleanup which today consisted of scraping noodles from pots with Theresa, "our German."

Time Difference: 5 hours. Thus, I was exhausted during lecture from 9am-1pm (4am-8am Detroit time) and wide awake at 1 am (8pm Detroit time).

Fave: Getting to use the Bible as a textbook
Walking to town in the persistent rain
Turns of phrase like - "won't be a moment," "taking the mick"

Needs: Sheets and washcloths! The pound is worth almost TWICE our dollar! I spent a pretty pence on a pillow case, duvet cover, and towels.

I literally have NO money! God provided just enough for me to purchase a visa and plane ticket. I am now virtually penniless.
The cost for the lecture phase (first three months) is due the seventh week (5 weeks from now) and the outreach phase (last three months) is due later. I am truly living by faith right now that God brought me here and will somehow provide.
So if the Lord has laid giving on your heart, skip Starbucks and remember your sistah Kaylan! Who will otherwise be stranded in England with not even a return flight.

Observe: convenient Paypal option to the right.

Love from Harpenden,
Kaylan

For my beloved Grandma Jo, who, as of Thursday, is no longer with us.....
She was the glue that held us all together. She lead us with the strength of a soldier and the grace of a saint.
I stumbled across this poem, feeling quite sad. Although the title is rather grim, it is quite beautiful.
If anything, read the last verse....

The Reaper And The Flowers
a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


There is a Reaper whose name is Death,
And, with his sickle keen,
He reaps the bearded grain at a breath,
And the flowers that grow between.

``Shall I have nought that is fair?'' saith he;
``Have nought but the bearded grain?
Though the breath of these flowers is sweet to me,
I will give them all back again.''

He gazed at the flowers with tearful eyes,
He kissed their drooping leaves;
It was for the Lord of Paradise
He bound them in his sheaves.

``My Lord has need of these flowerets gay,''
The Reaper said, and smiled;
``Dear tokens of the earth are they,
Where he was once a child.

``They shall all bloom in fields of light,
Transplanted by my care,
And saints, upon their garments white,
These sacred blossoms wear.''

And the mother gave, in tears and pain,
The flowers she most did love;
She knew she should find them all again
In the fields of light above.

O, not in cruelty, not in wrath,
The Reaper came that day;
'Twas an angel visited the green earth,
And took the flowers away.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

and never the twain shall meet

Oh Canada, you failed me today. Perhaps it isn't fair to blame the evenings mishaps upon an entire fair nation.....

First things first.
Thanksgiving was a myriad of family turmoil and love. My best friend and part of her family were in town. Strickler visits are becoming a Thanksgiving tradition, I think.

Tonight ended the opening weekend of Irving Berlin's White Christmas at the Baldwin. I feel quite fresh as this marks my first experience as a cast member at Stagecrafters. Our director seems to demand the excellence of Broadway, but at the same time, recognizes that it IS community theater. We all laugh a lot. It amazes me how much of a family we have become amidst the 30 second costume changes, breaking jewelry, and wig catastrophes.


Ignore how green I look. I NEVER wear foundation! ick.

After the Sunday matinee ended around 5:15, we set out for Hamilton, Ontario to finally see Jeremy Fisher live (a dream not realized in Pontiac a few weeks ago as planned, but sweetened by the opportunity of meeting the fellow). I had even baked a sweet potato pie for Jeremy, Peter, and Julien.



Thinking nearly 4 hours would give us enough time for the trek to Hamilton, we stopped for gas, then fast food salads (observe our attempt to be healthy), then were stopped dead in our tracks by the HOUR AND A HALF we spent at the Blue Water Bridge border crossing! Naturally, the Acura overheated JUST as we reached the booth. The customs official certainly took his job seriously. He had the gall to have never HEARD of Jeremy Fisher! Imagine! haha. He simply could NOT understand why two Black American girls would want to travel to Hamilton in the dead of night and gave us quite a hard time about it. He was then kind enough to point out that our "car was smoking."

Despite his cool demeanor and mustache, the fellow was quite fetching in his skull cap and bulletproof vest :P When he finally let us through, we wandered around searching for a restroom. First attempt was out of order. Second attempt was at the back of a grocery store and looked as if it had been "out of order" all day. The car had some time to cool and we were on our way. I had no idea how bleak 402 was going to be. No lights, no stops for miles. My eyes were already beginning to droop. Kendall was unable to join me for the trip and Deb didn't feel comfortable driving a stick. We drove another hour before sighting a Tim Horton's sign.


Silly Americans expect immediate availability. We must be so spoiled, because it seemed like we drove forever before stumbling upon the Tim Horton's in Strathmore, Ontario. After more mini-mishaps (first failing to find the drive through, realizing they didn't accept visa, and realizing that the mocha looks different in Canada), we decided to pray about what to do next. We were so behind schedule at that point, we wouldn't have reached Hamilton until around 11. Driving 4 hours home in my state in the wee hours sounded like a bad situation to both of us. Especially since my tired driving abilities are nill. If I am tired, I sleep. Whether I am behind the wheel or not. Not good.

In the end, we turned around, pie still intact and feeling lonely and abandoned. (The pie, not us).
The customs official on the U.S. side, after hearing our dilemma, asked 'WHY in the world did I not slip my phone number into his pocket? Then you could just call him up!' NEVER would I. haha. She did inform us, however, that Sundays are usually the busiest days at the border (who knew?) and that THIS sunday in particular was one of the busiest border crossing days of the YEAR due to Canadians returning from Black Friday weekend shopping. Just our luck. Or, I guess, just not God's will :(

In conclusion, I am infinitely disappointed by having to miss such an epic opportunity, but will never stop being a fan of the wonderful musician, Mr. Jeremy Fisher. I hope tonight's show in your hometown was EPIC. I have no doubt that it was! Kendall and I send our love to Peter and Julien as well and wish they could have enjoyed the pie. Thank you Deb for joining me on this grand adventure and for striving to keep me awake using Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, and the Beatles along with your own cunning wit and humor!


I shall now rest my weary bones in preparation for another busy week and try not to let my heart feel too acutely the pain of such a loss. I have decided NOT to blame Canada, but my inability to STOP and live. I can only GO, GO, GO, piling my plate high with more and more lovely life. I'll stop when I die.